November 2010
49 posts
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i feel sick
i don’t feel so well my tummy hurts a little i want to knit but don’t want to move i’m cold but my feet are burning my head is turning blurry there is music playing in my empty ears and though it wants to reach down inside me and do some healing it’s not working
the music is actually vibrating off my walls and intensifying my emotions, which are currently bundled into a...
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going thru my head
right now…thoughts:
thank you robert glasper for making some of he most BEAUTIFUL music i think i have ever heard (you make me feel amazing and possible)
caits, i love you - keep pushing and you’re bound to reach ALL of your dreams
mr. love, you’re not showing me much [love] right now, but i think it’s because you feel some kind of trapped…but you’re not...
October 2010
19 posts
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introducing the genius: →
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i just wish
i had more foresight….but i think that would make me somebody other than me, and it would decrease travel time on this life journey thing….
so i’ll stick with it…
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realizations (self)
i’m bad at transitions
i think i may be cheating to make all my personal fb confessions at night when no one is watching
i want everyone to be immensely happy, including me…BUT i would sacrifice my happiness for another’s, though i think happiness is like a face mask on the plane and that we’re supposed to “affix our own [happiness] before [we] try to assist someone...
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feeling lonely? loneliness transformed
again?
yes. it gets tired but it happens.
i think the trick is to not let it rule you or your actions in the moments of weakness
i wish i had those sermon notes in front of me right now, but there was a sermon delivered (last year, i think) by rev. frank thomas (formerly of new faith baptist, out in the suburbs of chicago) about how we-humans-negotiate our loneliness thru a series of actions...
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working...hardly
just a quick reason for those who love what they do and do what they love to be ever more thankful for the paths they’ve chosen:
i was away from my desk at the non-profit where i park my a$$ once a week for two weeks…gone home for reunions and such
still found time to work on a “time-sensitive project” while i was there and was able to send it back to my boss (read: woman...
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today
will be a good day
because i said so :)
Disappointments are just God's way of saying:...
YESSSS!!!
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power struggle
once, some time ago, i wrote a poem, and i remember it saying something like:
in the power struggle between you and i…
yea, that’s all i remember, but i just had a conversation with a friend of mine who reminded me that the man-woman (or any relationship, i think) dynamic tends to hinge on POWER
and i think it’s sick and tired and sad and really unhealthy
there’s...
#3 (and why)
simply because i didn’t know i was purple until i read this poem…and i felt sooo understood in this. because i WANT to be openly asymetrical (peep the hawk) and impossibly non-impervious to pain.
i just want to be free to be me…and in this, ntozake said it’s ok to have big thighs AND lil tits
*i’m certain she wrote this about ME!*
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ntozake's poem about me (day #3- my fav poem)
i lived wit myths & music waz my ol man & i cd dance a dance outta time/ a dance wit no partners/ take my pills & keep right on steppin/ linger in non-english speakin arms so there waz no possibility of understandin/ & you YOU/ came sayin i am the niggah/ i am the baddest muthafuckah out there/ i said yes/ this is who i am waiting for/ & to come wit you/ i hadta bring...
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when
pms has overtaken your life:
write things down that you willl NEVER show anyone (until u feel like it)
cry as much as you want/need to (it gets the ugly out)
drink wine. it helps somehow
listen to happy toni braxton songs (e.g. i love me some him)…there’re only a few so this shouldn’t be hard
cry some more…you deserve it
don’t say too much to people who may not...
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oh i am what i am, i’ll do what i want, but...
he
doesn’t know what i’m talking about opening my music folder now boxing with myself in broad fake-light triumphant over nothing
he has no clue or lets it seem he cannot hear the tears dripping quickly down my face wind wind blows against his blocking his ears with sounds unrelated and that is the fear that we are no longer related to ourselves to the moments that originally brought us...
